It cannot be denied that men are looking for the right ladies to become their partners if not their wife. And Ukrainian girls are one of the nominees. These girls are physically attractive. This is evidenced by the fact that most men are so pleased with the appearance of these girls for they find Ukrainian girls beautiful. One can openly see a distinct beauty bestowed upon these girls. Aside from being beautiful, they are charming too, a feature men cannot fail to notice.

Unlike other girls, Ukraine girls always showed and project a feature that is too different from the other girls. These girls are strong yet they display a virtue of humbleness in them. Their values are too strong that they always present some degree of self-respect and self- preservation on themselves and to their family. The are closely knitted with their family and give them foremost importance.

Another strong characteristic of these girls is that they are lovable and sociable. Lovable in the sense that they love dearly the reason why most men love them too. They are so much adjustable to any situation and are adoptive to any culture, the reason why most strangers and foreigners choose them for a relationship. Ukraine girls are likewise sociable. They have the grace of ladies who are well-breed and are highly regarded by the society. With utmost modesty, these girls project the decency of a lady most men wanted to see in a woman.

Ukrainians are hospitable, the reason why Ukrainian girls are hospitable too. This characteristic shows that Ukraine girls can be good women in the house, a hostess or a mistress. And for this reason, these girls can become good, if not perfect, wives. If there can be any chance that these ladies can become their respective wives, these men can surely be proud of these girls as they are perfect mothers, as well.

This is a perfect find for most men who dreamed to have a perfect home. Not only that, Ukrainian girls can be perfect mothers, as well. Because they value family too much, they are sure to be loving mothers to their children and to their children.

Ukrainian ladies, like most ladies, always wanted to experience happiness. Just like everyone, these girls want to share a life with someone they love and who loves them in return. They want to give their whole self to anyone who can give them the happiness they wanted. Likewise, these girls are willing to enter into a relationship to the one who can provide them what they need.

All being said, Ukraine girls are the perfect match for men who seek happiness and true and honest relationship. It can be said too, that these girls are the ideal match for men who want to experience a good and perfect married life for. This is a chance of a lifetime, a relationship so perfect that any man would ever wanted.

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For, often Russian women can be beautiful, inspirational, kind, loving and nurturing. In addition, most Russian women love unconditionally and have no concept of jealousy. As such, many happy partnerships have been formed through such unions since the beginning of time. Of course, just because a Russian Wife is not jealous does not mean she will not become upset when it comes to issues such as adultery.

In addition, while women from Russia are also quite strong in heart, mind and body, these women are also quite gentle. As such, these women are great in coping with both pleasure and pain. Of course, the pain one is good at is more in relation to disaster than that of sexual conduct.

In addition, although some believe Russian women were born to suffer, others have seen that such women can provide communication, compromise and understanding. As such, a Russian woman can be very good when it comes to dealing with issues of young children and teenagers. Of course, having the understanding that a hug and a kiss can go a long way in healing broken hearts helps a great deal when it comes to issues with both husband and family.

As such, these Russian women often provide a level of support that is absolute and without question. In addition, while one does not refer to oneself or enjoyed being called a housewife, Russian women are some of the best cooks and house cleaners in the world.

Possibly one of the most valued features of Russian women is the ability to understand that a simple kiss and hug can work wonders in relation to healing a broken heart. As such, these women make great mothers as well as wives. For, only those who understand heartbreak can understand all the elements in raising a healthy and stable family.

So, with inherit beauty, what at times seem like magical abilities, overwhelming strength and unconditional love, these are some of the most desired women in the world. In addition, even those who start out looking more for companionship than true love, often find oneself falling deeply in love with a Russian wife. For, the more time one spends with such a person whose inner and outer beauty can both be seen, one often finds it hard not to fall in love.

To this end, if one is looking to obtain a wife, one may want to consider a Russian wife as one option. However, as such dating sites generally allow anyone to set up such an ad for free or a nominal fee, most only collect the funds, allow the individual to set up an ad, which then the individual monitors from that point forward. As such, one may want to consider doing a full background check before inviting such a person into a country, life or family.

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The physical beauty of a Russian is captivating. She will be remarkable for having fair skin as well as sharp, Slavic features. In addition to the natural beauty they have been graced with, which they are careful to maintain, they also dress suitably. When one first glances at such a woman, one will not want to look away because she is so stunning.

Female Russians are respectful towards men. In this egalitarian age, many women demand rights for themselves, but they are also unwilling to give any consideration in exchange. The women from Russia give importance to the men in their lives. If you treat them with respect, there is nothing that they would not do for you. Their loyalty is extraordinary.

Russian wives take great care in establishing a home environment which is good for the entire family. All the domestic details of the house that need to be taken care of will be attended to by the woman. Outsiders who enter the home as guests will be happily welcomed, and they will notice how great the home is because of the woman’s efforts.

As parents, Russian mothers will be nurturing and caring towards their children. They would want to provide all the best things for their kids, and are willing to spend time with them. Other women can be selfish at times and neglect their kids by focusing on their careers and other desires. However, Russian mothers would go to great lengths to make their children happy.

Family is very important for Russians. They work very hard to make sure that everyone gets along well with each other, and that every problem is solved quickly. As a result, everyone will be happy to be with each other. There are not as many dysfunctional families where a Russian women plays an active role.

Russian women have realistic expectations. They are not selfish and demand that you provide for them, without giving anything in return. If you treat your woman in a loving manner and do your best to make them happy, they will respond accordingly and try to make you happy also. The important thing is to be as good as possible to your spouse, and if she is Russian, she will be good to you also. But if you occasionally lapse and have an argument — which is bound to happen because we are all human — she will forgive you quickly and readily.

There are so many reasons why Russian brides are so great. In the end, if you find a Russian partner for yourself, you will find complete happiness that you could not otherwise have. As long as you love and care for your partner, she will take care of you in every way possible. With a Russian woman, you will only be too ready to love her because she will be amazing.

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Women, in general, are emotional beings. Russian women are no exception. They have feelings and emotions and are completely in touch with them. However, they do not show these emotions often. When a Russian woman is sad, she will mask that emotion with a smile. She will not show weakness or pain.

It is not by chance that Russian women outrank other women in intelligence and strength. This woman will stand up for herself and the things that she believes in without fear. She is known to voice her opinion and fight against injustice. Her actions and her words are from the heart.

From the day that they are born, Russian woman are taught to believe that family and ultimately, marriage, is the most important thing in life. She is taught that she must have these things to be a happy woman. As she gets older, she will be trained to be a perfect mother and wife so when the time comes, she is ready.

Her mother taught her how to be a wonderful cook and how to keep a pristine house. She was raised knowing that her natural beauty is the perfect kind of beauty and she must take care of herself. She will know how to keep herself pretty and healthy.

One of the greatest characteristics of a Russian woman is how she is capable of understanding and estimating the needs of her family. She will always be around to listen or provide a shoulder to cry on. Her ability to know when her child or her man needs a comforting word or a simple embrace is uncanny. She will also know the perfect time to speak her mind and when she should remain quiet.

Marriage should last forever. A Russian woman expects to be with her husband forever. She will love and adore him. She will give him all the comfort and support that he requires. She will not compete with him. She knows that he is the head of the household and she will respect that. Truthfully, she will enjoy playing her role and values their relationship. She will do all she can to ensure that the love in the marriage stays strong.

If a man is skilled and lucky enough to take the prize of a Russian woman’s heart, he is truly in luck. He has accomplished something that most men are not able to do. When she is in love, a Russian woman will love her man unconditionally. She will do all that she can to make sure that he and their offspring are safe and well taken care of. Better yet, she will everything to keep her family together and happy.

A Russian wife can be the ideal wife for any man. She will always be the comforter and protector of the people that she loves. It is not an easy feat to win her heart. But the prize is definitely worth the effort.

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So you have a hard time finding your soulmate. You have searched hard for years, or even a lifetime but have not found one yet. Maybe you feel dissatisfied with your current relationship. Read this article to know how to find your soulmate by understanding how the universe works. This path will also help enhancing your relationship with your current partner. Remember that you must keep an open mind before you read further or the process will be in vain.

To get what you want, you need to create the path in the universe by envisioning your future. You need to create your own fate, not waiting idly. It is one of the reasons why being negative has a bad impact on us. Universe often gives people exactly what they expect. It is the perfect example of the saying “be careful what you wish for”. If you expect something positive, then something positive will happen to you.

Finding a soulmate means you need to actively put your effort in it and not just waiting for the universe to grant you. Laziness or indolence is a sin that can block you from achieving bright future and spiritual enlightenment.

You need to know exactly about your ideal soulmate. Imagine him or her in your mind in details. Imagine about his or her looks and behavior. Think about the two of you together, about how he or she treats you, what do you both do together, how your relationship develops, and what the future holds in store for the both of you.

Universe wants to know these details so it can grant you what you want exactly as you imagine him or her to be. If you do not have a specific, the universe will simply find anyone with broad criteria that might not what you are looking for.

You can write down about the things you wish for in a soulmate on a piece of paper, your diary, or anywhere you want. This process helps you to put your imagination into a tangible form. It also helps in brainstorming about what you want in a soulmate in more details. A spreadsheet will be ideal. Save this list some place safe and private. You might change your mind later on and change some things. It is perfectly fine to do so.

You also need to realize that your soulmate might be looking for a soulmate in a similar way. He or she might also write a list of what they are looking for in a soulmate. Try to reflect and see if your soulmate will find you worthy. If you want a patient and understanding soulmate, you should also be patience and understanding. If you want an attractive soulmate, you should also put some effort to make yourself look nicer.

It takes time to find a soulmate. Do not expect if you put the effort today, then you will meet him or her within a week. It is a possibility, but it is not always the case. Give it some time to find him and her. Also, put some effort into finding them such as going out and meet new people or participating in the community.

You can search for information and details in an astrological reading. Use a free astrology compatibility test to determine who is likely to be a successful relationship.

The truth is you can’t learn how to start a conversation with a girl instantaneously, particularly if you are accustomed to be surrounded by guys in your office or school. Obviously, practicing with a lot of girls might help, but the negative reactions will stress you out. The right way to do it is practicing with lots of girls or women whom you don’t have any romantic interest with. They may not pretty or hot, but the aim here is making yourself comfortable around the opposite sex.

This is what you must do: scale any girl you encounter from 1-10 (I know you have been done that on a regular basis) and pick anyone you feel comfortable to chat with and attempt to strike a conversation. Let’s say you give “six” to the waitress at a caf and don’t feel nervous around her, try to chat with her about her work, what she does when she’s not working, and so on. In time, you will want to keep raising the “level” of the girl while still being relaxed around them.

Before long, you’ll learn how to start a conversation with a girl without being nervous or frightened of rejection; you may even have talked to an “8″ girl effortlessly. Of course, trying to start a conversation with a girl whom you interested with will pose different difficulty, yet at this time you have got used to be around women and you’ll want to retain that feeling.

Your body language can betray you, so make sure you do this: keep upright posture when you walk toward her, maintain eye contact, and ensure that she sees you coming. Avoid the use of submissive body language and tones like you’re pleading her to acknowledge you and don’t indicate that you might be anxious by keep avoiding eye contact or playing with keys, matches, or whatever things within your hands.

Alright, it does sounds easier to be said than done. In any case, if it’s that easy to be confident around an attractive girl that you like, you will not ask “how to start a conversation with a girl” in the first place, right? The key here is quit placing pressure on yourself with “I must make her my girlfriend” or “if she rejects me I’ll die” way of thinking.

Maybe she looks like the most attractive girl on earth at the moment, but understand this: girls come and go, but your experience in starting a conversation with a girl will stay; if you failed with this one, another will come in your life and when she does, you already know how to approach and commence a conversation with her through your experiences. Do not burden yourself with “I must win her” way of thinking and all of a sudden it will become a lot easier.

How to start a conversation with a girl in the right way? Lots of guys think that the answer can be obtained from the “pick up lines manual”. This is unneeded; the most crucial thing is sustain cool and calm body language, and then say quick starter like “hi” or “what is you drinking?” then follow with whatsoever her answer is. All that you have to do is remind yourself that she’s practically the same with all the females that you have been talked to during your practice.

Discover where to meet girls and start practicing your skill at ways to find a girlfriend. Furthermore, take a look at tips on ways to become an alpha male to educate yourself regarding positioning yourself as a guy with high social status in a female’s eye.

The fact that theories are being created and the field is growing is absolutely magnificent; however we may be searching for something that has always been right under our nose. Clinicians often enjoy analyzing and making things more intricate that they actually are; when in reality what works is rather simple. This basic and uncomplicated ingredient for successful therapy is what will be explored in this article. This ingredient is termed the therapeutic relationship. Some readers may agree and some may disagree, however the challenge is to be open minded and remember the consequences of “contempt prior to investigation”.

Any successful therapy is grounded in a continuous strong, genuine therapeutic relationship or more simply put by Rogers, the “Helping Relationship”. Without being skilled in this relationship, no techniques are likely to be effective. You are free to learn, study, research and labor over CBT, DBT, EMDR, RET, and ECT as well as attending infinite trainings on these and many other techniques, although without mastering the art and science of building a therapeutic relationship with your client, therapy will not be effective. You can even choose to spend thousands of dollars on a PhD, PsyD, Ed.D, and other advanced degrees, which are not being put down, however if you deny the vital importance of the helping relationship you will again be unsuccessful. Rogers brilliantly articulated this point when he said, “Intellectual training and the acquiring of information has, I believe many valuable results–but, becoming a therapist is not one of those results (1957).”

This author will attempt to articulate what the therapeutic relationship involves; questions clinicians can ask themselves concerning the therapeutic relationship, as well as some empirical literature that supports the importance of the therapeutic relationship. Please note that therapeutic relationship, therapeutic alliance, and helping relationship will be used interchangeably throughout this article.

Characteristic of the Therapeutic Relationship

The therapeutic relationship has several characteristics; however the most vital will be presented in this article. The characteristics may appear to be simple and basic knowledge, although the constant practice and integration of these characteristic need to be the focus of every client that enters therapy. The therapeutic relationship forms the foundation for treatment as well as large part of successful outcome. Without the helping relationship being the number one priority in the treatment process, clinicians are doing a great disservice to clients as well as to the field of therapy as a whole.

The following discussion will be based on the incredible work of Carl Rogers concerning the helping relationship. There is no other psychologist to turn to when discussing this subject, than Dr. Rogers himself. His extensive work gave us a foundation for successful therapy, no matter what theory or theories a clinician practices. Without Dr. Rogers outstanding work, successful therapy would not be possible.

Rogers defines a helping relationship as , ” a relationship in which one of the participants intends that there should come about , in one or both parties, more appreciation of, more expression of, more functional use of the latent inner resources of the individual ( 1961).” There are three characteristics that will be presented that Rogers states are essential and sufficient for therapeutic change as well as being vital aspects of the therapeutic relationship (1957). In addition to these three characteristics, this author has added two final characteristic that appear to be effective in a helping relationship.

1. Therapist’s genuineness within the helping relationship. Rogers discussed the vital importance of the clinician to “freely and deeply” be himself. The clinician needs to be a “real” human being. Not an all knowing, all powerful, rigid, and controlling figure. A real human being with real thoughts, real feelings, and real problems (1957). All facades should be left out of the therapeutic environment. The clinician must be aware and have insight into him or herself. It is important to seek out help from colleagues and appropriate supervision to develop this awareness and insight. This specific characteristic fosters trust in the helping relationship. One of the easiest ways to develop conflict in the relationship is to have a “better than” attitude when working with a particular client.

2. Unconditional positive regard. This aspect of the relationship involves experiencing a warm acceptance of each aspect of the clients experience as being a part of the client. There are no conditions put on accepting the client as who they are. The clinician needs to care for the client as who they are as a unique individual. One thing often seen in therapy is the treatment of the diagnosis or a specific problem. Clinicians need to treat the individual not a diagnostic label. It is imperative to accept the client for who they are and where they are at in their life. Remember diagnoses are not real entities, however individual human beings are.

3. Empathy. This is a basic therapeutic aspect that has been taught to clinicians over and over again, however it is vital to be able to practice and understand this concept. An accurate empathetic understanding of the client’s awareness of his own experience is crucial to the helping relationship. It is essential to have the ability to enter the clients “private world” and understand their thoughts and feelings without judging these (Rogers, 1957).

4. Shared agreement on goals in therapy. Galileo once stated, “You cannot teach a man anything, you can just help him to find it within himself.” In therapy clinicians must develop goals that the client would like to work on rather than dictate or impose goals on the client. When clinicians have their own agenda and do not cooperate with the client, this can cause resistance and a separation in the helping relationship (Roes, 2002). The fact is that a client that is forced or mandated to work on something he has no interest in changing, may be compliant for the present time; however these changes will not be internalized. Just think of yourself in your personal life. If you are forced or coerced to work on something you have no interest in, how much passion or energy will you put into it and how much respect will you have for the person doing the coercing. You may complete the goal; however you will not remember or internalize much involved in the process.

5. Integrate humor in the relationship. In this authors own clinical experience throughout the years, one thing that has helped to establish a strong therapeutic relationship with clients is the integration of humor in the therapy process. It appears to teach clients to laugh at themselves without taking life and themselves too serious. It also allows them to see the therapist as a down to earth human being with a sense of humor. Humor is an excellent coping skill and is extremely healthy to the mind, body, and spirit. Try laughing with your clients. It will have a profound effect on the relationship as well as in your own personal life.

Before delving into the empirical literature concerning this topic, it is important to present some questions that Rogers recommends (1961) asking yourself as a clinician concerning the development of a helping relationship. These questions should be explored often and reflected upon as a normal routine in your clinical practice. They will help the clinician grow and continue to work at developing the expertise needed to create a strong therapeutic relationship and in turn the successful practice of therapy.

1. Can I be in some way which will be perceived by the client as trustworthy, dependable, or consistent in some deep sense?

2. Can I be real? This involves being aware of thoughts and feelings and being honest with yourself concerning these thoughts and feelings. Can I be who I am? Clinicians must accept themselves before they can be real and accepted by clients.

3. Can I let myself experience positive attitudes toward my client – for example warmth, caring, respect) without fearing these? Often times clinicians distance themselves and write it off as a “professional” attitude; however this creates an impersonal relationship. Can I remember that I am treating a human being, just like myself?

4. Can I give the client the freedom to be who they are?

5. Can I be separate from the client and not foster a dependent relationship?

6. Can I step into the client’s private world so deeply that I lose all desire to evaluate or judge it?

7. Can I receive this client as he is? Can I accept him or her completely and communicate this acceptance?

8. Can I possess a non-judgmental attitude when dealing with this client?

9. Can I meet this individual as a person who is becoming, or will I be bound by his past or my past?

Empirical Literature

There are obviously too many empirical studies in this area to discuss in this or any brief article, however this author would like to present a summary of the studies throughout the years and what has been concluded.

Horvath and Symonds (1991) conducted a Meta analysis of 24 studies which maintained high design standards, experienced therapists, and clinically valid settings. They found an effect size of .26 and concluded that the working alliance was a relatively robust variable linking therapy process to outcomes. The relationship and outcomes did not appear to be a function of type of therapy practiced or length of treatment.

Another review conducted by Lambert and Barley (2001), from Brigham Young University summarized over one hundred studies concerning the therapeutic relationship and psychotherapy outcome. They focused on four areas that influenced client outcome; these were extra therapeutic factors, expectancy effects, specific therapy techniques, and common factors/therapeutic relationship factors. Within these 100 studies they averaged the size of contribution that each predictor made to outcome. They found that 40% of the variance was due to outside factors, 15% to expectancy effects, 15% to specific therapy techniques, and 30% of variance was predicted by the therapeutic relationship/common factors. Lambert and Barley (2001) concluded that, “Improvement in psychotherapy may best be accomplished by learning to improve ones ability to relate to clients and tailoring that relationship to individual clients.”

One more important addition to these studies is a review of over 2000 process-outcomes studies conducted by Orlinsky, Grave, and Parks (1994), which identified several therapist variables and behaviors that consistently demonstrated to have a positive impact on treatment outcome. These variables included therapist credibility, skill, empathic understanding, affirmation of the client, as well as the ability to engage the client and focus on the client’s issues and emotions.

Finally, this author would like to mention an interesting statement made by Schore (1996). Schore suggests “that experiences in the therapeutic relationship are encoded as implicit memory, often effecting change with the synaptic connections of that memory system with regard to bonding and attachment. Attention to this relationship with some clients will help transform negative implicit memories of relationships by creating a new encoding of a positive experience of attachment.” This suggestion is a topic for a whole other article, however what this suggests is that the therapeutic relationship may create or recreate the ability for clients to bond or develop attachments in future relationships.

Read my latest articles on Share a Bit of Your Soul When You Kiss the One You Love and do check out my website for my other relationships articles .

So while you might be obsessing with the all important question, “how can I re-unite with my ex?”, what you need to be focusing on is improving the causes of failure. By doing so you’ll be able to eradicate the anxiety and stress which brought the break up on before.

So, How can I re-unite with my ex lover boyfriend, you inquire?

When a connection ends, you need to take that as a sign that something went wrong. If your love interest left you, then it was likely for one of two reasons: Either the bond was becoming too familiar since there was not adequate involvement on your part, or the bond was getting too overbearing because there was too much of you in it. Either way, 1 of these causes is going to lead to relationship suicide. If you are questioning “How can I get back together with my ex”, then you need to commence searching at which of these is accountable for the break up so you can take steps accordingly.

Whatever the scenario is that predominantly contributed to the separation, it was in all probability either something that you did, or something that you didn’t do. It may be tough to look at things this way, but that is just how it usually operates. The someone who was broken up with either did, or did not do something and the individual doing the dumping simply felt driven away. So now what occurs, and how can you handle to get him to return? The initial step is to change whatever it was that drove him away initially.

You need to sit down and definitely take a hard look at your situation. What could have led to the splitting up? Which of these occurrences were your doing, and which were not your fault?

Rule out the ones that were out of your control, for the reason that they carry on to be out of your control, and focus on the things that you did execute incorrect, the ones that you can definitely change. If your principal dilemma is something that you were responsible for and that you could change, then there is a extremely fine possibility that you can still get back together with him. However, you ought to be certain you actually are ready to make the needed changes to appeal to him yet again.

Merely knowing how to re-unite with your ex lover is not sufficient. It will not take place unless you are ready to respond immediately!

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What are we looking for?

There are a host of things that we do in our lives.

But have we ever thought about why we do what we do? What are we really looking for?

The world is a confluence of millions of people of all continents, races, religions, and ideologies, doing different things. They look different and also act in different ways. All of us have different interests and each have a different viewpoint. We converse differently using different languages. We have different emotions and desires.

Still, if there could be ONE thing that we are ALL trying to get, what would that thing be?

While I journeyed all over the world, I asked people a seemingly straightforward question, “What would you like to achieve in your life? What do you really want?”

In the beginning it appeared that different people were looking for different things. People said different things like “A house of my own”, “A good job”, “A perfect partner”, “A soul mate”, “A little more money”, “An affectionate family”, “Freedom”, “Peace of mind”, “A purpose to life” etc. There were many answers of this type.

I did notice that some of these requirements were of a more earthly nature while others were of a permanent nature. Earthly desires are those that we want because we do not yet have it, or think that we do not yet have it. As against this, permanent desires are not about getting things we do not have. It is about a ‘feeling’ that we yearn for, so that it does not come to an end, whatever we get or accomplish at every moment or our lives.

If we removed all the temporal desires from out list and only looked at the permanent desires, it is so obvious that we simply want to continue feeling positive feelings like excitement, enjoyment, inspiration, motivation, generosity, love, joy etc.-in another way, we want to stay being happy.

Delightfulness

Happiness is one state of emotion that we are all longing to be in. We all may define it differently. We may value it differently. We may experience it at different levels of intensity. But we surely have something in common when happiness comes to us. And when we discover this secret about happiness, we hold the power to be happier, and to make others around us experience the same feeling too.

This life, that we live, is a mystery. All of us like it in our own different ways. We may also dislike it in different ways. We may wonder about it. We may cherish it. Or we may just accept it in an offhand manner. But what is the ultimate purpose of this life? What if the mystery of our existence is at hand? What if its revelation actually brings us happiness and fulfilment when we come face to face with it?

What if the essence of the aim of our lives, and its joys, is as simple as this:

It is all about bonding.

Bonding is everything

Everything is about connecting. Everything is part of everything else. If we look at our own life, it says it all. Then we will start to see the real purpose of our life.

Why do we do something, ANYTHING at all, in life as human beings?

It is just because we want to connect to others. We make friends to build a relationship. We get married to establish a relationship in a deeper and more permanent manner. We create a family to further strengthen that relationship. We go out to meet more people to connect with them, not only to get benefits out of those relationships, but also to become more connected to the world.

We buy good clothes or go to a hairdressing saloon for a better relationship with our aesthetical sense and to our own physical appearance. We eat all types of food to feel more connected to the sense of taste and flavour. We eat out to feel the relationship to the people we dine with. We get mobile phones and computers to weave relationships with others and the world. We read magazines and newspapers to remain in touch with whatever is going on and what others are doing and experiencing. We educate ourselves to keep in touch with what others know and value.

All that we do is done to satisfy the need for that bonding. If we have no bonds with our own body, we do not even need to sleep or eat. Our bonds to all our senses tell us to do certain things to satisfy the demands that the body makes. If we disregard these pleas of our body, we feel pain and discomfort. And over and above our basic needs, we search for a bonding of a loftier type – the bonding to our existence – the bonding to our purpose. And without those bonds, it is just bare. Just like the barrenness many of us feel within when we have no bonds even to ourselves. It is just not the right way we are supposed to live our lives.

Bonds are powerful, and yet they are fragile and tender

When the bonds in a relationship lose strength, we go in for a separation, divorce, disagreements, judgement, and bitterness. It never feels good to lose the bonding. Still, it possible to be in love with someone today, and totally disconnected and bitter towards him tomorrow. And this change of feelings can happen just by the flicker of an eyelid. And the eyes might be yours or theirs!

When the relationship is not there.

When the relationship is not there, we start seeing problems. We start seeing differences and hindrances. We start sitting upon judgement of others and disapproving them. We exaggerate, concentrate upon, and give energy to such things that we see as problems. Under such a scenario, these problems might turn inwards and inflict pain and disapproval on ourselves. We cannot be fully happy when we have no associations with anything.

Connection: the Secret to Happiness

What about if we looked at the whole concept in reverse? When we do that we discover this simple truth: we cannot feel unhappy when we are feeling totally connected. It’s impossible!

Try to feel unhappy when we’re feeling connected to the people around us and laughing and sharing wholeheartedly together. Even when we have so-called ‘problems’ in life, we can still laugh together and feel happy and positive when we are feeling connected. At the same time, it is very difficult to enjoy anything if we’re not feeling connected.

Connection: Our Life

Connection is the core of everything. That’s what life is. Connection.

Things are just a combination of smaller parts. Things connect together to form a greater whole; the way our bodies are collections of smaller units, cells, organs, molecules and atoms.

Our acts and the choices we make are the manifestations of our need for bonding. We are designed to persistently search ways to bond to each other and to a larger rationale.

Relationship and Religion

Some of us have opted to become a part of different religious systems to feel better related to each other. The relationship that we yearn to build could be to God. It could be to those who share the same belief system. When there is the sharing of a similar conviction, there is a stronger relationship within that group. More bestowing on each other takes place among people who feel related to each other.

Connection and Business

People start a business to feel a stronger relationship to themselves by having better mastery over their destiny. But quite often in the world of entrepreneurship, there is a greater sense of isolation especially when we start seeing other enterprises as rivals, staff as devices and customers as a source of income. With all that, the main reason for getting into the business was to establish a relationship. So why should we cause any secluding at all? Maybe in an ideal world, all enterprises worked in another way, but jointly.

Relationship and Wars

Some of us even create arguments or wars to experience some sense of ‘victory’ or supposedly a greater sense of security and significance. But ironically, this rebounds. The moment we ‘win’ the battle, we are actually more disconnected from others. We now need more security to protect ourselves from being attacked by others. We somehow end up being more insecure and afraid. We can’t laugh at this because it actually happens to almost every one of us in different ways.

It may be the differences of opinion we have with people around us. It may be the wrong conclusions we reach at when we decide another person is wrong. When we want to be the only person to triumph, it will not be a victory in the true sense of the word – there would be no bonding. We can only rejoice when we succeed in unison. Then we feel the strong bond.

Despite the myriad ways in which we communicate our wants, everything we do is to fulfil the longing we have to feel and have strong bonds.

The complete experience of relationship is only felt through our heart. We can build a relationship with anybody when we truly care for them, and feeling that association with them. If we know this, forming that needed state is not difficult, but just simple and amusing. Then we would really feel more pleasure and contentment.

Life is like a play. We act things and feel things in a play but actually, the aim of the play is to derive pleasure out of it. It is not about acting out things, doing things. When the curtain falls finally, the winners are the ones who have experienced joy by acting. Not the ones who received more applause in the end. The effects and upshots of a play in which we acted do not affect our real life. But if we lost all our life to act in a play just because we wanted to be the best actor there, would it make us the best actor of the play?

It is so easy to understand this in the example of playing a game, but we often become blind in our own everyday game called life. We forget so easily that it is also just a game.

We have no idea when the play started and when it would come to an end, we know that it began some day in the past and it will be finished some day. When the curtain falls on the stage of the play, we can just say, “Wow, it was really good. Let’s act in it once again!”

In the sports of life, the aim of the game is to establish a relationship. We can keep connecting until we all unite to become one. It is the one way to constantly feel the relationship to our objective – the feeling of pleasure and delight. We cannot feel detached from the relationship to anything or refuse and conclude even one thing if we are to achieve a lasting relationship.

Life is as easy as that. There is only ONE secret.

And the secret is to establish a relationship.

To grow into ONE

To relish.

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If this is your first time, do this against huge party might out of your league and the situation can get to something out of your control, so pick a group of three or four. Ensure that she sees you when you walk toward her; keep relaxed, smile, confident, walk steadily, and keep upright posture. You will be examined and you must make good impression.

The following is opening conversation. If there is empty seat alongside her, just use the classic “excuse me, is this seat taken?” line. Else, you can talk directly to her by using lines such as “you remind me of -famous celebrity-, I assume you get that often?” or “that is really nice -dress/nail colors/necklace/other accessories-”. Just be sure that you are well-informed enough about women’s fashion before using the last one so that your compliment will seem genuine. Anyone who understands how to pick up a girl won’t allow trivial thing like that blows their chances.

You will get rejections and it might not always your fault; she might have a bad day or already involved with someone else. Either way, you have to know when to back off with pride rather than being obsessive and desperate, forcing your luck and end up as a pathetic failure. In any case, you won’t obtain anything if you scared to acquire a few bruises throughout the battle, so suck it up and get to the next target (not instantly though).

If she gives positive reaction to your opener, the actual battle starts. It’s time for you to show your value as the man whom she can enjoy herself with. Keep her entertained by tossing humor (stay away from making yourself looked dumb though), keep the conversation under your control, do not ever seek for her approval, keep the conversation around her issues, remain mysterious, keep sustain body language that convey your self-confidence, don’t avoid eye contact, and continue flirting and teasing her as a signal that you attracted to her.

During the conversation, make sure you portray yourself as the “guy without troubles”; this doesn’t imply you don’t have any difficulty, but you solve your issue by yourself like a real man would. Then again, she can bitching and complaining all she wants, just refrain from throw out rough judgment on her condition.

If you already own a little feeling on how to pick up a girl, you will notice when the time comes to make advancement. If she is already comfortable with your company, subtly place yourself so you can have solo conversation with her; it is even better if you’re able to put her on a corner and place yourself between her and the crowd. This is particularly good when you have a competitor wanting to butt in. At this stage, try some light-touch on her arm or shoulder to test her reaction; if she back away, pull your hand and make a joke about it.

The next step is isolating her from her group by asking her to the bar to have drinks or dance on the dance floor. If you have confidence in your dancing ability, this is the right time to put it into good use, just refrain from overdoing it and wind up embarrassing yourself. During your time together, keep making body contact; if she reacts by grinning, tease you in return, and keep her attention on you, you’ve got great signal. At this stage, even though you can’t take her home tonight for some reasons, getting her number won’t be that difficult.

I trust that now you already know how to pick up a girl (in theory), so get out there and take action. You will fail more than once, but if you hold on your pride and scared to get hurt, you will never get home with the big prize. So either get a few bruises and come home with a hot chick or preserve your pride and get home alone while feeling sorry for yourself. It’s your choice.

It’ll be much easier to pick up girls if you know how to create sparks with them; know that skills in how to flirt with girls sexually. Once you have built sufficient rapport and attraction, discover how to secure a date with her in how to ask a woman out on a date.