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Archive for June, 2009


A View of Grief and Loss

by Maurice Turmel PhD

Grief and loss is a broad category that encompasses death and dying, grief recovery, grief resources and every type of loss imaginable. From losing a loved one to losing your job, grief and loss includes a variety of dimensions that affect each and every one of us in our daily lives.

The loss of a loved one is the predominant category of course. Grief and loss is often immediately associated with death, even though it is equally applicable to the loss of a relationship or the family pet. Getting over grief and loss is what occupies peoples minds the most.

Divorce, relationship breakup and death of a pet will generate powerful grief reactions. Losing one’s home, employment and place of business are equally powerful in their grief and loss effects. We typically do not associate such losses with the grief and loss experience. It turns out that they do affect us in similar ways to the primary experience of losing a loved one.

The main point of this article is that dealing with grief and loss has a lot of common dimensions over all of its related categories. We mourn the loss of a loved one. We grieve the loss of a pet. We agonize over a broken relationship. We become depressed at the loss of our job.

What is our point here with this foray into the multiple dimensions of grief and loss? We are dealing with an emotional crisis and a feeling based wound. We experience sadness, depression and hurt. Feeling lost and afraid is common. Anger usually arrives first, till we discover what’s underneath, and pain is what we wish to avoid, initially. All such reactions are quite typical with the experience of grief and loss.

We begin to see that the experience of grief and loss applies to every aspect of our lives. Learning to grieve and relieve ourselves of stress is the key to a healthy recovery. Grief work and stress relief provide the necessary bounce back for our energy and drive. Grieving, in all its varied forms, is far more common than we may have realized.

The cycle of life includes gaining, losing and gaining again. For example, when a snake crawls into the tall grass to shed its old skin, it’s because the new is emerging from underneath and pressing for release. Losses are typically categorized as devastating when, in fact, they are often a prelude to something better. Learning to let go, no matter what the cicumstances is a valuable life lesson.

Grief and loss over the death of a loved one is a singularly powerful event. This type of loss is probably the most difficult we have to endure. But grief and loss, in other forms, is with us every day. Learning to cope with grief and loss, in all its forms, will help enormously when we face the loss of loved ones. A good grief and loss resource can immediately mitigate the experiences most devastating effects.

Dealing with grief and loss requires that we face our emotions and work through them. Acquiring a good resource, turning toward family and friends and sharing our sorrow can lead to new and deeper relationships. There are secret benefits to all of life’s trials, even though it make take years to see them. The main lesson from grief and loss is that something awaits us on the other side of the experience.

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A Look at the Most Fashionable Wedding Rings Today

by Ana Dupas

Wedding rings play a very important role in a couple’s marriage as they symbolize the love and union between groom and bride. Traditionally, wedding rings have been subdued but elegant. These days, however, there are lots of unique options that are stylish and colorful while maintaining the dignity required of a wedding ring. But the best wedding rings will not only have aesthetic appeal, but will also be functional. Keep in mind that you’ll have it on daily, so it should suit your style and your personality.

Some experts say that a wedding band and a ring differ from one another. The wedding band looks the same everywhere, while a ring has a distinct top and bottom. Nevertheless, both types are popular nowadays.

The Three-Stone Ring: In previous years, the three stones in the ring were thought to symbolize the couple’s past, present, and future. This belief is still popular and the three-stone ring has become a favorite for many couples. It’s symbolic of the couple’s commitment to remain together forever.

When you’re looking at three-stone rings, you’ll find that there are lots of options in gemstones. You can use diamonds and other precious metals in varying shapes and colors. As to the placement and size of the stones, you can choose one with a bigger rock in the center in between smaller rocks, or have them all uniform in size. No matter what you decide on, it will be a step up from the traditional one-stone ring.

Eternity Band: The eternity band is another favorite choice among couples nowadays. It is a symbol of everlasting love that knows no beginning or end. A favorite look these days is to have gems completely encircling the wedding band. Channel settings are also popular, meaning that the stones are secured in the ring instead of protruding. Trendy choices include white diamonds, but why not experiment with sapphires and rubies. Gems in a range of colors are gaining in favor. They’re eye catching and the choice of color can be a reflection of your personality. A platinum wedding band is often preferred, since it’s more durable and rarer than gold. Select one that’s 90-95 percent pure.

Vintage Rings: Vintage is ‘in’ nowadays, and this is applicable to wedding rings as well. There’s always a certain charm and romance to old-fashioned jewelry, and jewelry designers are coming up with styles imitating your great-grandmother’s rings. The detailed design of a traditional wedding ring is both elegant and stylish. Popular vintage stone cuts include those in round, cushion, pillow, or Asscher forms. The facets of these particular cuts are larger, meaning that they reflect more light even in dim settings.

That’s a look at the popular new trends in wedding rings. Although what’s important is the meaning behind the rings, it’s still significant to choose a style that you can wear every day, and that can reflect your personality.

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How To Deal With A Breakup

by Casey Evens

Your Breakup was a bad one, painful, and the time you’ve had to spend away from you ex has been miserable. Your ex is the only thing you are able to think about all day and all night, either your upset and crying or your extremely mad and slamming about. You have been set up on dates by your friends but none of them seem to compare to your ex boyfriend and your sure that he will be the only one ever for you. You have to get him back but first you have to figure out how to get your ex back and you will get him back, no matter what it takes, because you know that if your given just one more chance it will work out this time. Your going to need some help from your friends and their support to figure out how to win back your ex.

Chances are good that you said some things you regret during and after your breakup about your ex. Your friends agreed with what you were saying and even added fuel to the fire. Oh yes, there were plenty of mean things said about your ex. It is a good idea to let your friends in on your idea before you try to win back your ex. Tell your friends how much it means to you that they supported you during such a trying time in your life and that although you said some nasty things he really is the only man for you and you were just very angry and you really still need their support in this.

Because they are your friends and they love you, they will do anything that they possibly can to help you get your ex back. Wrong! At least not in the beginning. They will probably throw a fit and tell you that you are crazy. Just remember that they will do this because they are your friend and don’t want to see you have to go through that ordeal again. However after they calm down, they will come around to your view point and give you the support that is much needed by you.

Next, consider the realistic side of things. Do you want to get back with your ex because you still love and miss him, or is it simply because you do not want to be alone? Are you running back to him because you are scared of the unknown? Did one or two bad dates sour you from men in general? Be honest with yourself and do not allow your loneliness or fear gloss over the reasons for the break up.

It is very important to consider everything before you move ahead with your plan. If you broke up while in the middle of a heated debated then that is one thing, but if you broke up because of a few habits of his that you simply could not stand, then the dating and breaking up cycle will probably continue and you will repeatedly get hurt. It also never hurts to remember that the grass is always greener on the other side.

Is your ex still single? If you broke up because he was unfaithful, trying to get him back from the women he left you for is not a good idea. The old saying about losing a man in the same fashion you got him is painfully true. If you are the other women, you have to consider that at some point in time he will cheat on you too. If he is not single then you need to really ask yourself is your looking for love or revenge?

If he is still unattached, and you still want to pursue him, realize that nothing has inherently changed. He is still the same man, you are still the same woman. The problems with the relationship did not vanish. If you are not willing to talk about your issues, then you are not ready to try to work things out. Clear the air, list your grievances and see if compromises can be reached.

If you are able to positively work it out then slowly start to date again. Pretend that he is someone new and re-find all of the things that made you love him in the first place. Be aware of the things you don’t much care for and make sure they are discussed before they have the chance to turn into a big problem. Try to not get caught up in the rush of the familiar, and like always, try to think with your head first as opposed to your heart.

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